How to Move Past Fear and Live Your Dream Life
I was lying in bed late at night, heart pounding in my chest, with thoughts just racing through my mind. I had just gotten divorced, lived in an empty house that I now had to manage on my own, hated my career, and the dead silence that surrounded me literally caused so much anxiety in my core. This was how I spent my nights for months on end and probably got around 2-3 hours of sleep at most. I would talk to myself, God, anything that would listen to my terrifying thoughts and question how I even got here in the first place. It was absolutely awful and I would get up the next day, go through my day like a robot, with a smile planted on my face. Then at night, I would go through the same nightmare. I questioned myself, doubted myself, hated myself, every nasty thought that you could imagine. After time I realized that this is not who I am or how I wanted to live. Everyone experiences low times in their life and this was one of mine.
Looking back now, I’m honestly grateful that I was able to recognize and own that feeling at that specific time. I knew that I was the only person in the universe that was going to save myself and if I didn’t start doing something soon, I was going to end up in a worse situation. It was the FEAR that I experienced that forced me to start changing my life.
Why are we fearful?
Everyone experiences fear in various ways. You could genuinely be scared to fly, to leave a relationship, to change careers, to speak publicly, to ask for what you want, etc. For each one of these situations you have a choice: you can choose to walk the other way from fear or you can conquer your fear. If you choose to walk away from your fear, then that fear will probably still remain inside of you, continue to haunt you and cause other negative emotions such as anxiety. If you choose to conquer your fear then what happens? Well, there’s lots of things that can happen! You can finally get over your fear and feel at ease. You can escape a bad relationship and feel freedom and self-worth. You can leave the job you hate and start something that you are 100% passionate about that brings joy to your life. You can take on that speaking engagement and end up impacting the lives of hundreds of people. You can ask for what you want and actually receive it.
People are fearful for three main reasons:
1. They don’t know what the outcome is going to be
2. They’re scared that they’re going to fail
3. They have self-defeating internal dialogue that holds them back
What I often tell my clients is that on the other side of fear is a whole new world! The majority of the time when you approach your fear, you’re actually going to feel a new sense of accomplishment and that it wasn’t as bad as you anticipated. A common question that often comes up is, what if I fail? The reality is that everyone is going to fail and you have to learn to embrace that. Failure is so powerful because it teaches us a lesson. When things don’t go the way that you planned, what can you learn from that? How can you make your situation better and change it for next time?
I have experienced more failure then you can possibly imagine when starting and running both of my businesses. I’ve learned firsthand that this is part of the battle and it actually keeps me going! If I threw my hands up and stopped when something didn’t go my way, where would I be now?
Take a look at the failure that some of these famous people went through…
The famous author JK Rowling was rejected by 12 publishing houses before
her first Harry Potter book was published.
Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team because he
lacked talent.
At one of Jim Carey’s first stand-up comedy shows, he was booed off stage.
Now look where all of those people are today! In order to grow and change in this world, you have to step outside of your comfort zone and do something different. This often involves attacking one of your current fears. Your mindset and what you believe internally is what is going to help you get past your fears. If you don’t go towards your fears and you give up too early, you might end up missing a great opportunity.
I encourage you today to take one small step towards a fear that you have. Click on the link below to download my 5 Tips to Move Past Your Fears and Live the Life You Desire. Read through it carefully and then fill out the worksheet to start taking control of your own fears.
